A conversation I’ve had with hundreds of parents over the years.
One of the hardest things about being a sports parent is not knowing.
You don’t know if your child is developing fast enough.
You don’t know if they’re on the right team.
You don’t know if they’re getting enough playing time.
You don’t know if they’re falling behind.
And if we’re being honest, youth sports doesn’t make that uncertainty any easier. Everywhere you look, kids are being ranked, evaluated, selected, cut, compared, and measured. Sometimes as early as third or fourth grade.
As a parent, it’s easy to start wondering:
“Should my child be better by now?”
“Should they be more confident?”
“Should they be dominating?”
After coaching for decades, I’ll tell you something I wish more families understood: Most young athletes haven’t even begun to show what they’re capable of.
They’re still growing. They’re still learning. They’re still figuring things out. And that’s exactly what they’re supposed to be doing.
The Mistake I See Parents Making
I see parents fall into this trap all the time.
They see another kid scoring more points. Making an elite team. Getting more recognition. Getting more opportunities. And they start worrying.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
The best 8-year-old isn’t who we’re trying to become.
The best 10-year-old isn’t who we’re trying to become.
The goal isn’t to raise the best middle school player.
The goal is to help your child become the best version of themselves over time.
That’s a completely different mindset. When we focus too much on today’s results, we miss what’s happening underneath the surface. And that’s where real growth lives.
Growth Doesn't Look Like Growth
This is one of the most important things I can tell you. Growth rarely looks impressive when it’s happening. In fact, it often looks messy.
A player trying to improve their ball handling will lose the ball.
A player learning confidence will hesitate sometimes.
A player expanding their game will make mistakes.
A player becoming more aggressive will occasionally make the wrong decision.
From the outside, it doesn’t always look like progress. But it is.
The struggle isn’t evidence that something is wrong.
The struggle is evidence that learning is taking place.
I actually get excited when I see a player working through those moments. Because I know what’s coming next. The breakthrough.
Playing Games Isn't the Same as Having Game
One thing I talk about with our athletes all the time is the difference between playing games and having game. Anybody can play games. Having game is different. Having game means you can adapt when something isn’t working.
You can stay composed when things get hard.
You can make decisions under pressure.
You can recover from mistakes.
You can solve problems in real time.
Those skills don’t develop because a child plays a hundred games.
They develop because they’re allowed to learn.
They’re allowed to fail.
They’re allowed to figure things out.
They’re allowed to grow.
That’s why I’m so passionate about development. Because having game goes far beyond basketball. It’s a life skill.
The Confidence Every Parent Wants
Parents tell me all the time: “I just want my child to be more confident.”
I understand that. We all do.
But confidence isn’t something you can give a child.
You can’t talk them into it.
You can’t buy it.
You can’t demand it.
Confidence is earned.
A child becomes confident when they face something difficult and discover they’re capable of handling it. Then they face something else.
And something else…
And something else…
Eventually, they stop asking, “What if I fail?”
And they start believing, “I’ll figure it out.”
That’s real confidence. That’s the kind that lasts.
My Message to Parents
If your child is struggling right now, don’t panic.
If they’re frustrated, don’t panic.
If they’re making mistakes, don’t panic.
If development feels slower than you hoped, don’t panic.
Keep encouraging them. Keep supporting them. Keep helping them fall in love with getting better. Because that’s the secret.
The athletes who continue growing aren’t the ones who never face challenges. They’re the ones who learn that challenges are part of the journey. And when that lesson clicks, everything changes.
Not just as an athlete.
As a person.
That’s why I love what we do at Watts Basketball We’re not just teaching basketball skills. We’re helping young people learn how to face challenges, work through adversity, and discover what they’re capable of.
And in my experience, that’s where the real wins happen. Not on the scoreboard. But in a young person’s belief in themselves.
That’s a breakthrough that lasts a lifetime.
